Mallorca #1: Serra del Caval Bernat

Mallorca for me has always brought to mind drunk, loud British people in bars. Of course this is great fun when you are one of the drunk, loud, English people (or indeed drunk and loud but of some other nationality), but it is less attractive when you're not. Hence, Mallorca had never really made it on to my list of potential holiday destinations. But for reasons of family harmony I found myself heading that way last week.

Sunrise over Cap Formentor (click on any photo for bigger version)

In actual fact the island is beautiful with some stunning mountains across its entire northern half. By the power of Google I quickly discovered that there appeared to be plenty of climbing possibilities and further research also turned up what looked like a rather remarkable scramble - the Caval Bernat Ridge above Port de Pollença on the east of the island. Being there in August, it soon became apparent that dealing with the heat would be the crux, so a rather un-holidayesque 5 am alarm call was set and we were parked and walking by 6 am.

The rising traverse to the first high point

The ridge rises straight from the sea on its north side, and most start at the eastern end - approaching down the valley to its south. A beach marks the end of this valley and from there you take a rising traverse up to the first high point on the ridge. We had been told stories about a tricky step and took a rope as a precaution, but this stayed packed at the bottom of my bag, and we found ourselves on the ridge after some fun but not very tricky scrambling. Looking down the vertical north side of the ridge, the exposure is sickening as it falls at the highest point 350 metres down to the waves. In some points the peaks on the ridge actually overhang the north face - and I couldn't help thinking it would be a very safe base jump - except the obvious problem of there being nothing but water to land on.

Starting along the ridge proper

The south side of the ridge isn't too exposed...

The north side is.

Despite the rapidly building heat after sunrise, a strong breeze made things ok on the exposed crest. The limestone of the ridge is amazingly rough and spiky - superbly grippy on our hiking shoes but a bit rough on your hands. Fingerless leather gloves wouldn't be a bad idea at all (although avoid black ones if you don't want to look like a terrorist/counter-terrorism operative). We took a quite exposed direct line to the highest point on the first half of the ridge (we were told it looks like an eagle with spread wings from Port de Pollenca - so this would be the eagle's head). This was probably as close to needing a rope as we came - but like most of the other summits along the crest, an easier way could be contrived by taking a less direct line.

The eagle's head

A col marks the halfway point along the ridge and allows and easy descent down into the valley. We bailed at this point as even at 10 am it was getting ridiculously hot when out of the breeze and despite having brought three litres of water I was down to my last half litre plus, we suspected, we would soon be running out baby sitting credits with granny and grandad. There looks to be some fine scrambling on the peak immediately after the col, but after that the ridge appears to eases off a little with less steep up and downs, although still with the remarkable exposure on the north side.

Looking back from the halfway col

So in retrospect, early August might not be the optimum time for doing the route, especially for pasty and un-acclimatised-to-the-heat-and-sun northerners. Nevertheless, it still beats hanging with my tattooed, lager-lout fellow countrymen in Magaluf.

Random bike photos

Some random bike photos I've taken through the the spring and summer. Enjoy.

Hip bike

Outside of a coffee shop in Santa Monica, CA - well of course.

Old bike

Seen in a museum in Sweden - this wheel is beautifully made of wood.

Sensible bike

A circular reflector seen on a bike in Uppsala, Sweden. I've not seen this clever design for the dingy north before.

Pink bike

This is my friend's ridiculously girly bike - "Sweet Power" indeed. In fact those are her less pink feet as well.

Dead bike

Do old bikes go to heaven?

More stupidnomics

Yet more evidence of the Finnish grocery market not really seeming to get market principles (for earlier stupidnomics see here):

Buy a bottle of Upcider for EUR 2.12 - a unit price of EUR 3.84 a litre; or...

Buy a four pack of Upcider for EUR 8.49 - a unit price of 3.85 a litre. So that's a bargain isn't it?

On second thoughts, don't buy any upcider at all because it has a nasty, sticky, synthetic flavour and basically tastes like crap.

Sweden - pretty pics and odd impressions

Last year I wondered whether unfashionable people were banned from Stockholm, but having now travelled up Sweden I think it is actually overweight people who are not allowed, at least in the trendy downtown parts. The difference up country is noticable - so that is my first 'things I've never thought about Sweden' - 1) there are quite a few tubby folk around. We've mainly been staying on camp sites, so my sample could be skewed towards Swedes who camp, but I can't think of any particular reason why campers might be more likely to be overweight than the average member of society. Swedes give such a good impression internationally of being healthy, fit and out-doorsy, but I swear there are more tubsters here than in Finland although it is not as bad as the UK, let alone the US.

And then my second 'things I've never thought about Sweden' - 2) Swedish cafés are really crappy. I have moaned about Finnish roadside food in the past, but at least there is always a decent selection of big, sweet buns, donuts and cakes along with hot, rough and ready coffee. Here all the coffee seems to be in thermos flasks so is not really hot and the cakes and buns a bit sad looking. This isn't true of all the cafés we've been in to, but as we're on holiday we have been in quite a few and the average of the sample is definitely below that of Finnish cafés, be they humble petrol station ones or something posher. So score one for the Finns!

Gone fishing...

In the wilds of northern Scandinavia. With wireless. Figures.

Normal - intermittent - service will resume once I have returned to the the (limited) civilisation of Helsinki.

Global no-mayhem fashion

It's our old friends the black fingerless gloves again, being worn by yet more dudes who could really spoil your day in just so many ways. But these dudes are on the side of law 'n' order, their law and their order of course.

Photo *ahem* 'borrowed' from the Telegraph.

Dumb Helsinki cycle paths #5

I think this one, from Pasila - a bit north of downtown Helsinki, is pretty bloody self explanatory. As they haven't repainted the pedestrian/cyclist division line for some years, I've added it to the photo.

British humour on Finnish posters?

The posters have gone up for "Brüno - the movie" in Helsinki. I read on Twitter yesterday that my favourite movie reviewer, Dr. Kermode, is refusing to see it on the basis of the poster alone. I'm not sure if it is the same one as this, but probably as I can see his point. Anyways; I was just wondering about the cultural resonance of "Achtung!" in Finland. Finns seems to get British humour very well - for older Finns when they say the British and Finnish sense of humour is very similar they normally base this on one thing: Benny Hill. Looking at some classic Finnish comedy movies, I can kind of see how they would get to that conclusion. But many younger Finns seems to greatly enjoy what I think of as British humour - be that Peep Show, The Office, League of Gentlemen, Smack the Pony, or The Thick Of It - all of which have been or currently are on Finnish TV, along with older classics from Black Adder to Monty Python.

But doesn't the "Achtung!" on the Brüno poster rely on British comics and war movies of the 70s and earlier for its comic value? For Brits of at least my (and Baron-Cohen's) age, if not younger, the word "Achtung" can only be followed with one other, and that is "Spitfire" - U2's best efforts not withstanding. Finns have their own war comics that still seem to be selling well today (and that could be the subject of a whole other post...), but I don't thinks the baddies in them would be yelling "Achtung Spitfire!".

Perhaps Brüno is reclaiming the comedy value of "Achtung!" in this Europeanised era for the whole of the continent? Brüno, we salute you - a potential contender for European of the year perhaps.